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ODMD: The Valley of Gwangi

ODMD: The Valley of Gwangi

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Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPSep-23-2019 9:48 AM

Ok, so starting off, I decided to make a new series. ODMD stands for "Obscure Dinosaur Movie Day". I will review a strange/underrated/not very known dinosaur-themed movie. That means no JP or anything. There probably won't be a schedule either, so stay tuned. Anyways, hope you enjoy my first review.

I recently watched this over the weekend, and BOI was it crap. It's still fun, mostly to make fun of. I watched this before beginning to watch One Million Years B.C., but I got a bit bored so I didn't finish that. Anyway, let'sa goooo

PLOT

There's a guy, and he's looking for another guy with a group of people. Then they find him, but he's dying and he has a cloth bag that's neighing for some reason. Then there's a gypsy and she says it's cursed. FAST FORWARD, We're in Mexico now, and there's a rodeo. They have a show, a reenactment of the cowbois and indians. We see our main man, Tuck, as he meets a Mexican boi named Lope. Then, we see our female lead, T.J., as she and her horse jump into a crate of water with FREAKN FIRE around the rim. But she lives and everybody's happy. We then see that Tuck was actually T.J.'s former boyfriend. But T.J. doesn't like him anymore. Because hes a showoff. Then there's a bullfight and Lope, dat little idiot gets the bull's attention but he trips and Tuck has to go in and get him before he gets rekt. Then he gets hit by the bull, then a guy named Carlos goes in and wrestles the thing, without seemingly getting hurt, when Tuck was in lots of pain when the bull barely touched him- Then when T.J. seems to be an actually good female lead, she becomes a generic girl love interest and they get back together. Then T.J. plays a music box and then-remember that guy with the cloth bag?- a tiny horse (actually it's an Eohippus) comes out named El Diablo. They're going to put him on the back of her horse and he's gonna dance. Tuck then rides on a horse with Lope in the desert and meet a paleontologist named Bromley and he shows him the tracks of a horse with three toes and he brings him to the rodeo to show him Diablo. Then he's like "My god its a prehistoric horse" and then they meet with that creepy gypsy from the beginning and she tells Bromley to bring him back because it's cursed and yada-yada-yada, he brings him back to the "Forbidden Valley" in hopes to find MOAR prehistoric discoveries. They chase him down, then try to catch Diablo but he goes Sonic speed and escapes through a cave...hole...thing. They follow him, and then a Pteranodon (mistakenly called a Pterodactyl,) swoops in and grabs Lope (don't worry they don't kill the kid, if they did we'd have another Jaws on our hands) The Pteranodon falls because I guess it's never carried anything heavy. Then Carlos also decides to wrestle it, and somehow wins by snapping its neck. The group then sees a Ornithomimus and decide, because they are in the "torturing poor animals" business, they chase the poor creature until an Allosaurus, or Tyrannosaurus I don't really know (because it has three fingers, but they call him a Tyrannosaurus), destroys it and pursues them. Bromley is left behind, and hides as a Styracosaurus APPEARS and scares the Tyrannosaurus away, not before confiscating le pterosaur. Bromley goes back to "camp" and Tuck punches a guy who was on the team because he's mad. Then o no, the Tyrannosaurus reappears and attacks, but they rope him down. BUT THEN, the Styracosaurus from before comes back and battles him. For some reason they set the bushes on fire and stab Styra, I dunno WHY, but then Tyranno kills it and manages to catch Carlos and seemingly "kills" him yet all he did was barely bite down and gently set in on the ground. He's about to catch them, but then there's a landslide that knocks him out. They take him to the rodeo and name him "Gwangi" (hence the name) with normal wood and ropes which he should easily break yet he doesn't. By now, I should tell you one thing...Gwangi is really stupid. He snaps at people with his head 10 feet above them. He's probably a juvenile or adolescent. Anyway, they bring him to the arena and a dwarfed gypsy comes in to free Gwangi because he's dumb, and Gwangi of course eats him. Then he battles an elephant and wins. Also Bromley's dead because the bars crush him. Then he, along with Tuck, T.J., and Lope get locked in a cathedral and gets distracted from the organ and Tuck stabs him with a flag. They all escape, but not before Tuck throws a torch and sets the building on fire. The three lock Gwangi inside and the dinosaur gets rekt from the falling debris. The townspeople all stare, and for some reason Lope in crying but then it's the end.

OVERVIEW

It's OKKkkk... but some things: T.J. could've been a good female lead, but she becomes the generic, ditsy love interest. And Gwangi was REALLY stupid. 

 

 Hope you like this thing. If interested, please tell me. Anyways byyyeeee~

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk
50 Responses to ODMD: The Valley of Gwangi

Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPSep-23-2019 9:57 AM

I did this for fun and because I wanted to talk about this movie. Mostly because Gwangi's really dumb

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPSep-23-2019 10:01 AM

Well, the movie isn't so bad in my opinion. Gwangi was actually an Allosaurus, but they called him a Tyrannosaurus because of the notoriety of T-rex and because they thought it sounded more intimidating. As for T.J., yeah. She definitely could have been a good female lead, but that amounted to jack ****. Then again, you kinda have to take into consideration that this was back in 1969, before strong female leads like Ellie Sattler were as common as they are today. I think... I could be wrong about that... Either way, for the time it was a great Dino movie. If you want to see bad dino movies... there's much worse... Valley Of Gwangi could be good remake material, a much better idea than most remakes being made these days. Could fix those problems pretty easily.

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPSep-23-2019 10:02 AM

Oh also, yeah... Dinosaur's were seen as big, dumb lizards, which is why he's so stupid. Also poor writing... but mostly the first one, I think...

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPSep-23-2019 10:28 AM

Yep. I did like this movie though. I might watch it again, and yes I'd like to see a remake. They should do that.

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk

Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPSep-23-2019 10:30 AM

Also I think Gwangi was young because (I know it was an editing thing, but for cannon reasons) he's kinda small compared to an adult Tyranno or Allo.

Welllll.....he's actually a good size compared to an Allo.

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk

Gmkgoji

RespectedMember1789 XPSep-23-2019 11:18 AM

Gwangi is op

Zwei Wing is the best singing duo. Change my mind.

Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPSep-23-2019 1:11 PM

Except for fire.

He has a thing with fire....

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk

Xenotaris

2KMember2802 XPSep-23-2019 5:01 PM

I own this movie

ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR UNIVERSE

Kattozilla

ConversationalistMember1350 XPOct-09-2019 5:26 AM

 Sorry for not posting another, I need to get my hands on some other dinosaur movies.

"soup or soldier? i choose soup" - Microwave Chonk

Xenotaris

2KMember2802 XPOct-09-2019 5:35 AM

I can give you a few good suggestions: Land of the Lost, One Million Years B.C. (1966 and 1940), Caveman, Prehistoric Women, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, The Land That Time Forgot (1974), Planet of Dinosaurs, The Crater Lake Monster, and The Last Dinosaur 

ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR UNIVERSE

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 9:11 AM

I can suggest some bad ones if you need them! XD

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Xenotaris

2KMember2802 XPOct-09-2019 9:46 AM

Oh yeah I forgot the Carnosaur films, I can't believe I used to like Carnosaur

ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR UNIVERSE

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 9:57 AM

Films? FILMS?!!!! FILMS AS IN PLURAL?!!!! THERE'S MORE THAN ONE OF THOSE DUMPSTER FIRES?!!!!!

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:03 AM

Yes there are,in fact 3 Carnosaur movies or more.

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 10:04 AM

... Ernie's about to commit a hate crime

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:07 AM

OH NO!

THERE ARE 5 MOVIES!

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:07 AM

6 JURASSIC PARK MOVIES!

5 CARNOSAUR MOVIES!

Im betting that there will be another Carnosaur movie...

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 10:17 AM

Nope, nope, nuh uh. NOOOOOOOOPE. I mean, Jaws has 4 movies, but they ended it. Carnosaur has had nowhere near the same impact as Jaws, so NOOPE. If they do... my faith in humanity will be gone in its entirety...

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Gmkgoji

RespectedMember1789 XPOct-09-2019 10:18 AM

Oh boy...

Zwei Wing is the best singing duo. Change my mind.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:23 AM

Lets just think about the best Dinosaur movies and ignore the Carnosaur franchise,lets cross our fingers and hope that it isn't gonna be created!

Gmkgoji

RespectedMember1789 XPOct-09-2019 10:29 AM

Thinking happy thoughts is kinda hard rn

Zwei Wing is the best singing duo. Change my mind.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:31 AM

Wait,Wikipedia confirmed that,there,there...

Will be 2 more Carnosaur films...

END ME ALREADY!

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 10:38 AM

... Why would you bring me this news? Then again, they said the same thing about the last airbender...

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Gmkgoji

RespectedMember1789 XPOct-09-2019 10:39 AM

Wack.

Zwei Wing is the best singing duo. Change my mind.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:41 AM

BRUH...

DID YOU ACTUALLY FALL FOR THE JOKE?

I WAS KIDDING!

BUT THERE ARE REALLY 5 CARNOSAUR MOVIES!

 

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 10:42 AM

Nah, was being sarcastic. But seriously... 5... well, there's far worse than Carnosaur.

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:44 AM

The Last Airbender?

ITS THE LAST ONE BUDDY!

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 10:46 AM

Eyyyyyyyyyy

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

Kamoebas V.6

ContributorMember765 XPOct-09-2019 10:47 AM

Did'ya get the joke?

TheLazyFish

RespectedMember1630 XPOct-09-2019 11:16 AM

(In Bane Voice) Why of course

If people weren't lazy, we wouldn't try to be efficient. If we weren't efficient, we'd never get anything done.

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