Now that John Logan's early draft is out, here's the abridged version (funny)
joylitt
MemberNeomorphAug-15-2017 9:41 AMALIEN: COVENANT
The Abridged Script
FADE IN:
INT. IMPRACTICAL STATUE ROOM
GUY PEARCE is only wearing 1 POUND OF SHITTY MAKE-UP so this scene takes place maybe 80 YEARS before Prometheus.
GUY PEARCE
I’ve shrinkwrapped this entire room around Michelangelo's David, a piano, and a single chair. Naturally, I’ve deemed this to be the perfect place to bring my android man servant/son Michael Fassbender to life.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER
(awakens)
What is my purpose, father?
GUY PEARCE
To help me find the albino body builders that created all of humanity. Also to pour my tea, because I’m too much of a wealthy prick to lift a kettle and tilt it 45 degrees, so get to it asshole.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER
But father, I wish to create life as you did... Also to genocide an entire species or two. You know. For funsies.
GUY PEARCE
No Michael! It’s up to you to keep this franchise’s continuity in tact! Unless I’m suddenly bludgeoned to death with your decapitated head, in which case feel free to completely fucking ruin the franchise and reduce it to an incoherent mess that tarnishes the first two films beyond recognition.
DIRECTOR RIDLEY SCOTT
Hey that’s my job!
INT. COLONIZATION SHIP COVENANT - 10 YEARS AFTER PROMETHEUS, 10 YEARS BEFORE ALIEN, AND ABOUT OH 10 REWRITES SHORT OF A GOOD SCRIPT
THE EAGLE from SPACE 1999-- err, I mean a TOTALLY ORIGINAL LOOKING SPACE SHIP is on its way to some planet somewhere. There are couples and stuff. Just prey you saw the PROLOGUE or else you will be TOTALLY LOST.
MICHAEL FASSBENDER 2.0
I’m the new model android with a vaguely Americanadian accent! I watch the ship while the crew is asleep in stasis dreaming about a time when the Alien movies had a better critical track record than the Fast & Furious movies.
But the ship is suddenly damaged by a burst of PLOT CONVENIENCE ENERGY and the crew is woken up.
KATHERINE WATERSTON
Oh no! I can’t open the pod of my husband and ship’s captain James Franco!
MICHAEL FASSBENDER 2.0
Wait, James Franco is in this movie? I wonder why he wasn’t included in any of the trailers?
JAMES FRANCO
(is violently burned to death)
MICHAEL FASSBENDER 2.0
Oh. That’s why.
Continue reading:
Space JOC
MemberOvomorphAug-15-2017 9:55 AMPathetic post really, I'm guessing you loved Wonder Woman and Thor and all that other Hollywood dribble
For Close Encounters
MemberOvomorphAug-15-2017 11:28 AMBeat part:
David: I'm kind of a liar, please put your complete trust in me.
Oram: done!
Lawrence of Arabia
MemberChestbursterAug-15-2017 11:36 AMDavid never gave anyone a reason to believe he was a liar until Walter found Shaw's corpse though.
"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
Lawrence of Arabia
MemberChestbursterAug-15-2017 12:07 PMali81 True, it's just a joke. lol Thanks
"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
ali81
MemberNeomorphAug-15-2017 12:30 PMlol I had to take a double look at the picard parody, I knew id seen it before but I had to say it out loud for it to click lol
his arms wide-FREE HUGS
joylitt
MemberNeomorphAug-15-2017 4:26 PMLawrence of Arabia Actually in this script Daniels discusses with Walter how crazy David is and says something like "If he can create this from his imagination, he can also lie".
Lawrence of Arabia
MemberChestbursterAug-15-2017 4:31 PMjoylitt Which is nice foreshadowing but doesn't necessarily means he is lying. I mean, he did just save them from a Neomorph attack and brought them to safety. Even if David disturbed Walter that doesn't mean he would lie. Also he discussed this with Daniels, not Oram or anyone else.
"The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts."
