Alright, so we've got two chapters in a row where I get on depth in our protagonist's thoughts and emotion. Either I should not write when I'm dealing with emotional issues, or I should. Anyway, here's the chapter.
Miss the previous chapter? Follow the link provided.
I watched as several leaves blew across the river. Just my luck, the wind changed and blew flaming leaves across the river. One lead landed in a tree twenty feet from me and the tree lit up like someone had poured gasoline on it.
I jumped out of the tree and started running. Just what I needed. I'm in the middle of an emotional break down, and now I have to run. The only thing that could make this worse was if that damn Allosaurs showed up. The fire had easily caught up to me, but I found a clearing. I stood in the middle of it, and even the tallest tree wouldn't reach me if it fell.
With nothing to do, my mind started wandering again. This friend of mine. We were close. Extremely close. I think I mentioned we were pretty much the same person. Well, it's true. We had similar behaviours, we acted the same way when it came to our emotions, you had to see it to believe it. We knew each other well enough that we could have full on conversations with facial expressions and hand gestures. The one day, it was dead silent, everyone was eating lunch, and were sitting at opposite sides of the table. Both of us just start laughing all of a sudden and everyone's looking at us and we can't breath because we're laughing so hard. Long story short, we confirmed everyone's belief that the two of us were completely f*cked.
I laughed as I watched the forest for danger. That was a good time. That time, we were "talking" about what we'd do the boss of we wouldn't get fired. The boss was her boyfriend's uncle. She didn't have much of a choice, and I was an employee. Honestly, the boss was an asshole and he got on both of our nerves. We'd talk about all kinds of crap we'd love to do to him. We were (who am I kidding? Still are) completely f*cked up like that.
Suddenly, I saw the Allosaurus. It ran into the clearing and right past me. It started to slow down and came to a stop before it hit the edge. Maybe it saw me, maybe it saw it was safe. It turned around and started walking towards me. Teeth flashed and growling, the Allosaurus slowly got closer. It looked like it was going to attack.
I may be flooded with emotion right now, but I'm not going to let this bastard end me. I may be sad and be almost dead inside, but I'm not going to die today. I've got too much to live for to die. I want to see my friends, I want to marry my fiancée, I want to build that damn truck, I want to........ Heh heh........ Yeah, that, with my fiancée. I kept snickering to myself. Dead inside but my sick sense of humour is still alive and well.
I brought the M107 up to my shoulder, put my cheek to the stock, and lined up the sights. The Allosaurus stopped and looked at me. It didn't know what to do. Honestly, neither did I. It's aggressive manor disappeared and it was curious more than anything. I lowered the rifle and it jumped back before resuming its curious stance. We both tilted our heads and sized each other up. The Allosaurus grunted. Either it figured I was an easy meal, or it deemed me unworthy of the effort. I figured one shot and this bastard's dead.
The ground started to vibrate. We tried to figure out where it was coming from. I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. There was a path. It was long, and it was twenty feet wide. Coming down it were three Tyrannosaurs. Terrance, Thorn, and Shadow. Shit. My only chance was that the Allosaurus would distract them long enough for me to escape. I looked around. There had to be another way out. I walked around the entire clearing. There was one way that I could get through where the Tyrannosaurs couldn't follow me. It was on the opposite side.
I started to run for the path, but the Tyrannosaurs showed up and put a stop to that idea. I was about three hundred feet away from them, but they were close enough to the path that I wouldn't make it. I threw the M107 over my back and grabbed the SPAS 12. Neither gun will kill them, but the SPAS is easier to handle and the dragon's breath will help more than a .50 BMG. I had an idea on how to get out of here in one piece and breathing.
I watched the Allosaurus. It was panicking. Not surprised. The Tyrannosaurs were all focused on it, and I made my way around the clearing. When the Allosaurus made a ran for the path, Terrance caught it and crushed its spine before it was five feet off the ground. I was still a hundred feet from the path, but the Tyrannosaurs weren't in the way. I never lost sight of them as I slowly kept going for the path.
Shadow looked right at me and growled. Terrance and Thorn turned to face me. This isn't good. If I run, they'll catch me before I make it. My only hope is that the dragon's breath will distract them long enough for me to escape. That is, if they attack. They might not. The four of us stood in silence as the fire crackled on. Maybe they wouldn't attack.
There was suddenly thunder and lightning. I had noticed the sky starting to get a little darker, but I didn't pay much attention too it. By the time paying attention was worth it, the sky was dark. It was about to start pouring.
Sure enough, after the second lightning strike and thunder boom, the rain came down hard. So hard in fact, that I couldn't see shit all. I ran in the direction the path was, and I found it. I ran as fast as I could and eventually I found a cave. I walked inside, shotgun ready for action, and looked around. It was empty. That was nice. I quickly built up a fire with what was available and warmed up. I didn't realize how cold I actually was until I sat next to the fire for a few minutes. I didn't have the energy, nor was I hungry enough, to go and get food. Great. That means I have time to think, and you know means.
I ever mention I hate emotions? Because damn do I hate emotions. Another fun story from my teen years. Yay. Alright, so this one time, my head had been pounding (thinking does hurt) for a week straight, I was communicating at the level of about a seven year old, and I couldn't separate one thought from another for the life of me. I figured it was because I had rolled a four wheeler off a ditch, fell six feet and landed on my head. Nope, that wasn't it. I actually figured it out once my head stopped pounding. Turns out, what it was, was the fact that for the first time in my life, I felt truly loved unconditionally. Remember that friend of mine? The one who hugs me. Yeah, well I felt loved unconditionally by her. I could be myself and I didn't have to not say stuff out of fear of being mocked or judged. Well, because of that, my mind went back to small child. I went back to a child's mindset. I went back to.......... loving........ trusting........ I felt....... safe........ like nothing could........ go wrong. She........ she...... we...... it's just........ well....... the hugs.........
I knew what was coming. I knew this breakdown was going to happen the moment I started thinking. First came a few tears, then my nose went runny. I could hear myself trying to suck the snot back in but it wasn't working. Next my breathing became shallow. Last came the sobs. I couldn't calm myself down for the life of me, so I just let go. I let it all go in a storm of tears and helpless sobs and screaming and punching and kicking and cussing and throwing rocks.
I don't know how long it was, but I ended up lying down next to the fire still crying and started talking to no one in particular.
"Why? Why me? What did I do? Hasn't my life been miserable enough? My parents did the bare minimum for me. They treated me like a child but made me work like an adult. They never listened to me and when one of them came up with the idea I had weeks earlier it's suddenly a good idea. For most of my school life my circle of friends was so small I could have kicked myself out. Even after I met my two best friends I didn't have many friends at school. I never went anywhere or did anything as a child. As a teen, I never went anywhere either. Not because my parents didn't take me, but because they never took me when I was younger, I was legitimately afraid of human interaction. I...... I........ f*ck..........."
Jack of all trades. Master of none
LORD VADER - This was yet another extremely fantastic chapter! I feel exceptionally invested in the protagonist's struggles both within and without. I certainly hope that he will find his full inner strength and pick himself up to stand tall and proud! Even when life throws the hardest punches, the human spirit just keeps standing back to its feet! Thank you so much for continuing to share this fantastic story with us! :)
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