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DWC: Creepypasta: Fear Raptor

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Jul-18-2014 8:31 PM

DWC: Creepypasta

Fear Raptor-

“John, we have a problem, the experimental velociraptor isn’t in its cage, the one we accidentally splice with snake DNA.” Said a scientist.

“Sh-t. We can’t let Hammond know what we’ve been doing, who knows what would happen if Fear Raptor got loose. Its joy of killing and stealth makes it a danger to the visitors, we have to keep this covert. But if it bites anyone, they’re a goner, there is no antivenin. When chemicals in the venom reach the brain, it makes the victim hallucinate and be terrified as the other chemicals kill them. A horrible way to die.” Said the other scientist.

“Let’s hope to God we find that thing before it gets out into the open, unless it’s already out there somewhere.”

It was closing hours, Jurassic World was void of anyone but the workers and the beasts themselves. I was a night guard, in charge of watching the eoabelisaurus, and velociraptor exhibits. I was armed with an AR-15 with a night scope and flashlight, like anyone was going to break into a park with a bunch of dumb lizards ready to strip the flesh off their bones. This night wasn’t a normal night though, I felt something weird when I left the apartment complex for employees, I couldn’t quite grasp what it was, so I just shrugged it off. I have never seen anything like it before in my whole life, it was unforgettable...

“A full moon out tonight.”I said to myself looking into the giant, cratered, glowing rock up in the sky. It was beutiful, but yet, eerie.

It was exactly 2-13 a.m., it was also the time the velociraptors were most active, but tonight, there wasn’t one to be heard or seen. I had been at my post on the tower with a 270 hunting rifle for about when two hours, my AR was leaning against the side. The tower wasn’t much, just a concrete structure with stairs, a medal canopy, and four sides that were about waist high. I was tired, too tired to think much, but a blood-curdling screech woke me up completely. I looked down into the enclosure to see what it was, at first, I didn’t see anything, but by the lamp light on the fence, I did, and never forgot it.

I saw green eyes glowing in the darkness, velociraptors had yellow eyes, so what the hell was this thing? I saw a black foot step out from the vegetation, it was pitch black, blacker than night. Then it stepped out into the open area between the thicket and the vegetation and attacked the live rabbit we had tied up for food. But it did something that was almost demonic, it opened its jaws and revealed two longs fangs dripping with venom. Its jaws unhinged like a serpent and its eyes rolled back in its head showing just the whites of its eyes. I almost fell out of the tower, fear overcame me like a flood, I was petrified, I was hyperventilating, and my skin crawled at the sight of this, this thing.


It’s skin was dry and wrinkly, its body was black with thin dark gray tiger stripes running down its back, black feathers were on the back of his neck, its claws were black themselves, those toe claws were longer than any other raptor in the exhibit, its face was half way sunken in, its eyes were like cat eyes that pierced the darkness.


When I mustered up the courage to look back, I found that he was staring at me. I hid back behind the low wall of the tower eyes wide open, every time I blinked I saw those wild green eyes locked on me, hungry and penetrating the very depths of my soul. I looked back, and it was gone, all that was there was a hole in the fence.


“What in the hell is going on?” Was all I could muster.


I tried reaching my fellow night guards, but all I got was static. I heard screaming coming from the walkway in between two enclosures to the right, just 75 yd away. I grabbed my AR-15 and went to check it out, fearing the worst. I crept down the stairs to the concrete ground and wiped sweat off my forehead. I had my rifle shouldered the entire time I was walking over to walkway. Once I got there I saw a human body laying on the ground, it was Bill Harper, a good man. I rushed over to try and find a pulse, there wasn’t one. Instead, I found two four inch puncture wounds in his shoulder. Why would something kill something and not eat it? It didn’t make sense. Bill’s eyes were still open with terror, so I closed them in sadly.


*CHUSHHHT* My walkie talkie was picking up something.


 “Ron, are you there? What the hell is going on out there?! I heard screaming and...HOLY SH*T! Is that a raptor? What the h...AHHHHHH!!! 


*The man drops the walkie and commotion is heard, then a ear deafening screech and the screams of the man*



I shaken to the bones, my face was pale as the moon. Then all the park’s lights went out and I got out my night vision goggles. I decided the best thing to do was to get help, and the phones were in the plaza. All I had to do was get there and call for help. I passed multiple bodies along the way, each one’s eyes wide open, I tried to shake it off.


“All most ther..” My goggles ran of juice and I remembered the time we had to track down an escaped young parasaurolophosaurus and I forgot to change the batteries.


“Damn it.” I said to myself.


Then I felt it, the raptor was close, then I heard it growling and I made a break for the plaza. I got inside and ran through the lobby and into a hallway, the grid was still down and I could barely see. I heard the raptor behind me the entire time, but then I didn’t hear it. I thought I’d lost him, but I didn’t slow down my pace. The sat phone was in the chief night guard’s office, ust around the corner.


I rounded the last corner and came face to face with the demon itself. I fell backwards and crawled away on my back until I was against the wall. The raptor slowly walked towards me and it leaped at me as I held up my hands and screamed. I saw was the raptor’s eyes rolled back, its fangs flipped out, and its jaws unhinged, then...


“Whoa!” I said as I woke up and rubbed my eyes to get the image of that thing out of my head. I yawned and stretched in my tower, the nightmare was still fresh in my mind. I shook it off, for the most part, the way those jaws unhinged, and its eyes rolling back in its head, was undeniably fear striking.

"It's just a dream, it's just a dream." I had reassurred myself.

Then I wondered what time it was, just to get my mind off of the raptor, so I looked at my watch.


“2:13 a.m., I’ve been asleep for an hour and fifteen minutes.”


 I was tired, too tired to think much, but a blood-curdling screech woke me up completely. I looked out into the velociraptor enclosure and didn’t see anything, but then I did, and I never forgot it. 


I saw green eyes glowing in the darkness...

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.

11 Responses to DWC: Creepypasta: Fear Raptor


Jul-18-2014 8:42 PM

Great job. I want to see what happens next.

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway.


Jul-18-2014 11:46 PM

I changed the name of the story, thought it was a bit more...fitting.

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.


Jul-19-2014 12:11 AM

The story gives away what will happen next, the main part of the story was about Fear Raptor attacking, but it's a dream. Then the main character (let's call him Quinton) then wakes up and experiences the same things that happened in the first part of the story (the screech and the glowing eyes). It's deja vu, if you don't know what that means, look it up (not the Denzel Washington movie). It left the reader with a creepy feeling (at least, I hope that's what it did) because the same thing that happened in the dream is happening in real life now.

Oh, Raptor 401, are these creepypasta enough?


Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.

Smaug The Magnificent

Jul-19-2014 6:47 AM

Good story, but as a ,an that has had plenty of experience with creepypastas,   I've seen joke stories with more spook factor.

no offence.

 P.S that's not Déjà vu, that's seeing the future!

I Believe In Harvey Dent


Jul-19-2014 11:02 AM

This thing is not Deja vu, it honestly just sort of a vision, and the ending was sort of cliche, to be honest.

It would have been 10 times better if you kept the old name and didn't come up with the "It was all a dream, but the dream was a vision" cliche.



Jul-19-2014 1:13 PM

I thought Deja Vu was when you dreamt something, then experianced the same thing in reality. I'll change the name again...I guess. I think it would be cheating to change part of the story though, so I'll keep what I have.

How was it a cliche?

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.


Jul-19-2014 1:14 PM

Besides that, did you guys like it?

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.


Jul-19-2014 1:58 PM

I liked it. Would've preferred if it wasn't a hybrid dino though...

Here, have a waffle (-'.')-#


Jul-19-2014 4:14 PM

It had to get the fangs and venom from something, that's what made it what it is, the Fear Raptor. It wasn't against the rules as far as I know, was it 401?

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.


Jul-19-2014 4:41 PM

I don't think it was either, I'm just saying, that I would personally have liked it better if it was a normal dinosaur. Again, still liked the story.

Here, have a waffle (-'.')-#


Jul-22-2014 11:34 PM

Well, thanks for letting me know, this way I can learn from my mistakes and make a better story next time.

Youre fat, and I'm not sugarcoating it cause you'd probably eat that too.

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