Sailtooth sniff the ground with a scent of blood he rush out of the clearing to find a dead Ankylosaurus being eaten by 6 rapters.The hybrid roars at the pack the six turn around seeing what they never saw before.The pack screech at pharaoh tyrant .But the monster shows no mercy.He charge at the rapters but out of the clearing 2 figures with their mouth open they charge right to Sailtooth but he turn around he feels sharp pain on his sail. 4 rapters are slashing the sail raking their claws on the sail but then he feel another sharper pain.The 10 year old Sky and Patch are biting Sailtooth's neck from each side.The hybrid have enough he violently shakes off his attacker and flees but Sky and Patch are not letting him get away after his brother and sister and parents death they chase after him too.But Sailtooth realize he is on a edge of a cliff.But unfortunately Sky and Patch headbutt him with all their power.Sending Sailtooth to fall to his death from 120 feet.Sky and Patch roared in victory sense they avenge their parents.At night... Sky and Patch smiled and give out a 1 last roar of victory before they slept.Meanwhile beneath the cliff.... a deep pond was just sitting their calmly with no currents just a calm pond.Put then a figure emerges which look like a Spinosaurus sail but with T-rex head.
Good chapter. I see you've applied some of the given advices. And here's the difference. Your story is easier to follow now. Keep up the good work! ;)
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Very fun read, short and sweet. The advice given certainly paid off this story was much more coherent and flowed better can't wait for the next chapter.
Good chapter. Easier to follow, but still room for improvement. Still great, just a minor thing. I thought you had killed off Sailtooth for minute. Much easier to follow still.
Jack of all trades. Master of none
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