It's just some grammar issues. Punctuation and grammar mostly. They're still good chapters. For example, instead of saying "so do anyone have tips?" Say "so does anyone have tips?" Just small thing like that.
Jack of all trades. Master of none
I agree with MrHappy. Grammar is one of the most important things.dont do this. Do this. Make things detailed. Here is an example "Raven the Velociraptor walks into a clearing. A pack of Achilobator jump into the clearing and attack Raven. Raven runs away, but the Achillobator follows him" that isn't to bad, but its not great. This would be better "Raven the Velociraptor walks into a clearing. Out of nowhere, a pack of Achilobator jump into the same clearing and try to bite Raven, but the little Velociraptor manages to weave in and out of the attacks and runs away. He looks back to see the Achilobator chasing him, but they are getting farther and farther away." This is much better, and a much easier to picture. Do you get what I'm saying? Try to make it so that the reader can get a picture in his/her mind of what's happening, and also read past stories. Ps. Use diversity of words. Try not to repeat the same word in a sentace, even if it is a name.
Grammar is certainly the biggest thing. Also, say you have a fight between a Tyrannosaurus and a Deinosuchus. Instead of writing their whole names, put Rex, Gator, T-rex, etc. Stuff like that. Make sure to use the environment as well and give us details. It's little things like that that really drive home the point. Other than that, keep up the good work.
listen, Before you ever post anything ITS BEST ADVISED, to read it over, And improve it the best you can... (We have many grammar freaks on here -including myself-) Just small little things, that need a second look before being posted, also, Make sure it makes sense, "The duck left home, the duck bought groceries, the duck ate groceries, the duck left home" doesn't make much sense right? Anyways, just some slight tips. best of luck in your future articles...
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way
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