Supertasioro
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 5:48 PMHi everyone,
this is my first post here, i've been lurking so far but... After seeing Prometheus, i though i should do something for human kind and its preservation from a terrible life form called... DAMON LINDLEHOF!!! I know, most of you who had already seen the movie present the same symptoms... Let's regroup all testimonials in one single discussion to show the world how much we all hate... Damon Lindlehof.
Just in case some persons might think "hum... they didn't get the subtilities of the movie"... It's not "we don't get them" is just "we don't think there's any!!!". And this is WHY!!!
You feel like you've been raped by an assumed mystical engineer? You feel like ripping off one of your arms and go to any Prometheus premiere to beat Damon Lindlehof to death with it migh be a good idea? You want to take his f*king flute to put it deep in his a*s to see if a scenario comes out??? We understand you... We all feel the same!!!
So as the universe is separating into "positive" and "negative" reviews, let's all make clear we're not debating about "how good the visuals looked" or "how was the 3D" or "the actors performances"... Were not reviewing the movie... We're just debating on some kind of scenarists who think their emptyness is so interesting that it needs to be shared to the entire world... Even if it's crushing the most anticipated movies from the decade... Like Damon Lindlehof did... With Prometheus....
Let's also remind ourselves that Damon did his terrible job with total agreement from sir Ridley Scott... Producer and director of the given movie and so... Completly responsible of his acts and consequences!
PS : Sorry if my english isn't correct all the time, i'm french speaking, and i'm just driven by hate right now...
TheNextLV426
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 5:54 PMI am going to go to bed tonight and have a nightmare where Ridley Scott is spanking me with a flute while saying "yeah, you like my movie don't you bitch".
And that's very disturbing
Drakeequation
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 5:57 PMWhoa, call me crazy but I don't think you were a big fan of the film. lol
Arkadine
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 6:03 PMhaha that was so very funny... that flute will become legendary it seems
Arkadine
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 6:04 PMWait a minute... hasn't something similar been used in "The 5th Element"?
Gimm-e
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 6:09 PMWHAHAHAHA...oh, I can't stop laughing. I also feel 'Lindlehoffed'...just signed in.
You don\\\'t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage!
Drakeequation
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 6:21 PMWhen people say Lindlehoffed it makes me think that there is some kind of Damon Lindelof and David Hasselhoff hybrid running around somewhere. lol
hicksandhudson
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 7:03 PMthe way some Are talking around here, drake, i think some people would rather see the Hasselhoff new release Pirhanna 3DD than Prometheus lol
Supertasioro
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 8:14 PMOk... I admit... I've been feeded on spoilers for an entire month. I admit... I entered the theater already knowing the entire story. But still... WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT SH*T???
They repeated us again and again «oh what's important, it's the STORY», «it's not just a prequel, it's a new STORY» and blablablabla... BUT WHERE IS THIS F*KING STORY?!?! Seriously, i could have replayed the trailer in slow motion to make it run for 2 hours, it would have been exactly the same!!! Never the expression «You've seen the trailer, you've seen the movie» would have been THAT true!
I'm a David Lynch fan, so I can recognize an enigmatic movie when i see one. I usually love them! But Prometheus is everything but that!!! Of course I get out of the movie full of questions like: «How the fuck is it possible none of the production staff members stay awake untill the end of Lindlehof's reading and figure out it was sh*t???» or «Why Charlize Theron didn't bring her oscar with her, as she's there as the 'officially oscarized actress who's full of credibility cauz she's got an oscar and it's very cool to have an actresse credible like that cauz then the entire movie looks very credible you know' character???» IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!!
I'm so pissed off right now, i don't even know where to start...
I think i should make a post by frustration, either it will be too long...
Just know the common point in my post will be... I hate Damon Lindlehof. I've never met him, i've never speak to him, but right now... I'want him to be chased by a «Xenomorph not really like the one we know but who might be a queen who then would f*ck the one of the third movie because this one is seeded by a giant octopus who's got nothing to do in this movie and we don't care because this movie doesn't make sense anyway» while running to escape to be crushed by giant derelic... With a flute in his a*s...
astubbindeck
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 8:55 PMI respect everyone's opinion, but who gives a rat's ass if the ship is started with a flute? Did you expect a pull-start or push-button ignition? Maybe a hand-crank or something more exotic like the start sequence of the alien ship in The Thing prequel? How about a long, banana-shaped handle that the engineer would pump up and down while he sang the theme from "Diffren't Strokes"? :)
Supertasioro
MemberOvomorphJun-02-2012 10:03 PMHere are some testimonials of actors who have been Lindlehoffed recently. Pay attention, the following comments might be disturbing... Considering the severity of the psychological damages they have suffered, they prefer to remain anonymous...
Let's call our first witness Logan M-G.
[b]Interviewer :
Tell us how such a terrible thing happened to you?[/b]
Logan M-G :
Well... I've been hired to act in the new Ridley Scott movie. I though it was a unique opportunity... I didn't see it coming... It happened that fast...
[b]What did they told you? Where there any elements who could have make you suspicious?[/b]
No no... The pitch was cool. I was supposed to be an atheist scientist landing on a mysterious planet to investigate the origins of life. I mean, I was an important character at the origin of the entire expedition... And i was the boyfriend of the lead actress so... Everything seems bright at the begining.
[b]Tell me more about your girlfriend in the movie... She also was a scientist right? But a believer scientist is it right?[/b]
Yeah that was THE interesting idea behind the movie you know... A story evolving around the creation of man kind with two central characters having different view of the «creation» definition. I though we would have tons of interesting dialogs and pationate debates all along the movie... But then i've...
[b]You've what?[/b]
I've been Lindlehoffed.
[b]What do you mean?[/b]
My character was turn into a d*ck.
[b]How is that? You lines were bad, they make you sound like a morron?[/b]
No i mean, there were almost no dialogs... I litterally was turned into a d*ck. I'm there just to f*ck the lead character so she get pregnant with an alien... And then i die... like a sh*t...
[b]You die... But like an heroic death or something? You're dying while saving your girlfriend from the alien?[/b]
No, i just come back to the ship and agree to be burn to death. Just like that...
[b]Oh God!!! That's a severe Lindlehoffed!!![/b]
I know, I was naive... The only big movie i've been involved in was written by Night Shyamalan so...
[b]Oh dear... You've been Shyamalaned and Lindlehoffed consecutively??? That's terrible...[/b]
(starts crying)
They told me they hired Lindlehof because John Spaihts's scenario wasn't good enough and... I believed it...
[b]How could you believed someone might have written a worse scenario than Damon Lindlehof???[/b]
I was so naive... I'm so sorry.
Reaper72
MemberOvomorphJun-03-2012 5:15 AMThis Lindlehoff character... I haven't watched Prometheus but I can say that I followed LOST real closely... Until I, yep, got Lindlehoffed. Even with already so many answered questions he just kept throwing in new ones! In the end I just gave up on the series! I was really surprised to find him writing for a Ridley Scott movie of all things! He would've been better off writing for SAW Parts 7-20 or something!